The past two months have been really difficult for our family — the very short story is that my Dad went into the hospital at the end of June for a routine, in-patient procedure of his heart condition and after two rehospitalizations, he passed away at home last week.
It has been and continues to be an emotional rollercoaster ride — with crushing grief right up alongside joy-filled moments of togetherness.
The precious gift of a good Dad for my 47 years of my life makes his loss incredibly difficult. I know how blessed I am to have something worth grieving, but boy is it awful. I am thankful for the many, many memories that my Dad was intentional about making with us and I’m extra thankful for these past two seasons where we were able to live closer. It still seems impossible that I will not see him in this life again.
In the midst of this journey with my Dad and family, regular life stuff just continued on, even though it felt weird at times. We wanted to continue to celebrate life together in the midst of hardship and anytime we could, we brought the celebration to wherever my Dad was in that moment.
Part of this summer’s education was introducing our kids to the mid-state fair — they had a blast, but couldn’t believe that one corn dog could cost $17!!!
Jason took Mabel on their annual overnight backpacking trip, into the Jennie Lakes Wilderness this year.
Jason & I each marked another year onto our lives —
Our family had the incredible opportunity to attend family camp at Mount Hermon this summer. I had not visited this place for 15 years, but grew up attending most summers. It was such fun to introduce the kids to this wonderful experience.
We also got to go visit some neighbors from our compound in Guatemala at their forested, off-the-grid home in Northern California. It was so special to get to see them again and to see their California home/life.
Mabel got to celebrate her birthday a few days early together with her cousins and my Dad, then she proudly made her own cake on her real birthday.
We started our new school year – with big 5th and 3rd graders!
Interspersed with all these moments was so much time with family, what a beautiful thing.
I haven’t been able to get this picture of my Dad holding Mabel in his amazing, workworn hands out of my mind…
And I am having a hard time getting my brain to understand that the kid’s grandpa who: read them stories, took them on tractor and go-kart rides, wore silly unicorn masks for birthdays, drove them around in his classic car, made special “papa tom style” cereal for them to eat and dressed up as Tigger for Halloween, is no longer here … but I am so thankful that he was all those things for the time they had together.
Hi, Carrie. I am so sorry for your loss. I always remembered your Dad as a gentle giant when I visited your home back in the day.
I understand your grief. My Dad passed away unexpectedly on September 14th. The grief and sadness is raw. Praying for you and your family as you navigate this.
Melanie
Thank you so much Melanie. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad too. It is just so unbelievable, isn’t it? How does one continue life without a parent? Praying for you as well Melanie.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Seems like your dad was a fantastic man—praise the LORD for all your wonderful memories! I’m praying for you to experience comfort and peace even in the midst of your pain and grief.
Thank you so much Candace. I really appreciate the prayers. The blessing of all those wonderful memories together is a bit of a catch-22 … there are just SO many great memories and it seems impossible that we won’t get to make more.
Carrie, I’m so sorry about your dad. Praying for you snd your family and family knowing you will see him again one day brings a little peace. During this time just let Jesus wrap his loving arms around you and hold you tight
Thank you so much Toni, I really appreciate your prayers and your wisdom. It is a wonderful thing to know that we will see him soon.
Carrie, I’m so sorry for the great loss of your Dad!! Prayers for all of you as you navigate this new normal! So thankful for all the memories you have, he sure was an amazing guy! Praising God for your Dad’s life and testimony & the promise that we will see him again in heaven!! ❤️❤️🙏🙏
Thank you so much Melissa. I know you are so familiar with this grief and with trying to journey through life without a Dad. Thankful to know I am not walking alone.
We are so sorry for your loss, Carrie.. it does look like you had some great memories with him recently- hang on to the wonderful times… all our lives to you and yours,
💜🥰🙏🏼Laura & John Doogan
Thank you so much Laura.
Thanks for the updates Carrie and I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Even tho we know he’s in a better place, it is ok to feel that grief, it’s gonna stay with you for a long time and that is ok. Your dad being in heaven doesn’t take away from the fact that you miss him. Sounds like he was a wonderful dad and grandpa and so glad you all had that time together. Sending you and your family a lot of love.
Thanks Sarah, it’s definitely a rough road, but yes I am so thankful that I will truly see my Dad soon. Just this in-between time will be really hard. Thanks for kind words.
Carrie, thinking of you and praying for you. I, also, was 47 when my dad graduated from this life into the next. My heart is with you. I just finished a reflection on the last 7 years without him. I didn’t believe joy and grief could live in the same heart until I experienced it for myself. May you continue to experience this, just as you’ve written.
May you feel the gentle arms of Jesus holding you close to his heart.
Oh Shan, thank you so much. I have thought of you often during this time, knowing you have gone through this and more yourself. The joy/grief situation is rough for sure. Thank you for your prayers and your thoughtfulness.
My heart goes out to you. Must be so hard and yet you are beautifully (yes even the tears are beautiful) navigating through your loss. Praise God for we have the hope to hold on to, of seeing our loved ones that have passed on, again. I’m here (just text/call away) for you, if at any point you need someone who understands to listen and lean on. Sending you all lots of love and tight hugs 🫂
Thank you so much Vanesa! I have been thinking of you and wanting to do that video call with you that you had suggested earlier in the summer. Things just got a little crazy here, but I would love to re-group and connect with you. I know that you understand this only too well and really appreciate your prayers.
I am very sorry for your loss also! It is a great comfort to have all your beautiful memories and the assurance that we will see our loved ones again in heaven, but it still hurts, awfully! I’ve always believed that I have a much better understanding of our loving Heavenly Father, because of the love and wonderful relationship I had with my loving earthly father! I expect you have found that, too! Love & prayers!
Thank you so much Sandy, we really appreciate your thoughtful words.
Thanks for this newsletter you put together….the joys and the sorrow of your time home. God blessed you with wonderful memories of a lifetime with your Dad and they will always be a part of you! I am glad we have so many memories of family times together…I cherish them all. I will be praying for your travels and the next 6 months away from your family. Bless you for serving God in this special way. Sending love to you all!
Thank you Donna. I too have been cherishing the many good times our families had together as we now both experience this great loss. I know how fortunate I am to have so many special memories with my Dad. Those memories are so wonderful, but also sadly make his absence all the more noticeable. Continuing to hold you in prayer as you walk in your own loss and grief. Thank you for your prayers for me and our family. Much Love.